Have been a couple of years since I have blogged or worked full-time as an employee.
They say time flies, yes it does and sometimes almost years seem to fly by faster than days, perhaps hours, probably this is just my perception of time.
Since the last time I ranted on the internet, lot of things have changed with me and the world nonethless I am still unemployed and I am still dreaming of building things or atleast forking smaller projects / products.
But atleast I was alive and I am sure I tried to code or atleast opened my computer on most days, being an optimist, I am satisfied a bit that I was active throughout the chaos, met my twinflame and shared the best 2 1/2 months of my life with her. During the intense phases of my life once in a while there would be days that each could be made into movies, other slow phases would last couple of years at times with nothing but being indoors, trying to make a living or cyber loafing around the internet opening more tabs than I could close. My be this is connecting with the chaotic part of me looking to ingest random information. I did not know when I turned into this ADHD creature who spent most of the time moving from one tab to other among the thousand open tabs, trying to organise & close the tabs.
In a way I have turned into this randomness engine sucking in time.
Always busy trying to do something, but never completing or even start to work on something significant.
In a way weirdly, most of my close friends are in a way stuck to this pattern, most of us are not using our real potential, not even an ounce of that potential we have spent, not sure if this is the law of attraction or may be some of us have a common journey.
May be we will wake up one day to do things that might matter.
I need a direction, I need a goal. I need to be persistent.
May be I need the repetition.
Even the ants build such huge colonies cause they consistently drill in the same direction.
Amidst this sad rambling, I still have fun, I love the Chaos, the Ups and Downs and the strange charms on this one hell of a roller coaster ride.
May be I am just one thought away from not being sane, or past it. I am enjoying the ultimate ride on this Third Rock from the SUN.
I am sure of one thing, tomorrow is full of possibilities and here is one of my favourite quotes. YOLO
You are a ghost driving a meat caoted skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. FEAR NOTHING !